If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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