Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
