somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
