Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize