why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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