"it" just moved
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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