She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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