the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
