so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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