Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
