He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
