so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
