I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
