She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
