his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
