He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
