Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
