I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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