I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
