i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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