I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
