Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
