ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
