Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
