Too much gin, very little bucket
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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