that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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