this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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