i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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