how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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