i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
