He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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