I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
