There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
