I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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