I think my fart just growled at me.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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