VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
