I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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