i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
