i just wanna soil my oats bro
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
