He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
