THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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