yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
