Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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