You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
