At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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