i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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