Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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