Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
