Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dignity is for republicans.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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