she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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