the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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