So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
