But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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