Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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