so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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