in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
