Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
They took my balls.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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