I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
