First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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