it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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