I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize