there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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