He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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