I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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