Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just gift wrapped bread.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
