I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
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Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
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However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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